Every writer gets criticized, fairly and sometimes unfairly. What you can learn about coping with criticism so that you are strengthened by it, not broken down.

Criticism, even gentle criticism at the wrong point in the creative process can be so destructive that you lose heart and give up the story completely. How can you know when it is time to show someone else the story you are writing?

Take Care of your Creative Confidence

Creating a story that you hope to sell to a publisher is a delicate process. On one hand you have to believe that you have the talent, the required technical skill and something unique to say. If you don’t believe these things about yourself, even if you manage to finish the book, you will find it very difficult to gather up the courage to send it to a publisher.

But at the same time you have to be prepared to take criticism and to learn from it when it is relevant. You have to learn to separate out helpful from destructive criticism. And very important, you have to learn how not to let overly harsh criticism destroy your confidence in yourself.

Don’t Show the First Draft of your Book for Children to Anyone

When you are in the process of writing the first draft of your book for children, resist the urge to show it to people. No matter how hungry you are for praise, reassurance or affirmation, don’t let anyone read it. People can’t judge its merits when they are only seeing a little bit of it, in rough draft form, but most still feel obliged to make some comment. You can lose confidence in yourself by something as small as spelling or grammatical errors being pointed out.

At this stage in your writing process the only comment should come from your ‘inner storyteller’, your own creative voice.

Finished the Second Draft? Done all you Can to Make it Excellent?

When you have written a second draft, correcting grammar and spelling errors and inconsistencies, it can be very useful to show it to someone. But be careful whom you choose to show it to.

Pay for a Critique from an Objective Specialist

Don’t show it to your friend the blocked creative, who might allow her jealousy to show in nitpicking. Don’t show it to someone who doesn’t appreciate the genre. The best bet is to send it for a professional objective critique from a specialist in children’s books. Your local children’s librarian is a good place to start. Be prepared to pay a fee for her time and expertise. Otherwise some online Writing Schools offer a critique service. It is well worth paying for a professional opinion.

How Do you Know if the Criticism is Valid?

When a person passes judgement on your work they must be able to offer informed and useful suggestions on how to fix the flaws they see in it. If they simply want to pull it to shreds, but are unable to suggest ways to improve it, they are not offering a critique. They are offering an opinion. And opinions are worth little.

You can read more about the emotional aspects of being a writer in Dealing with Disappointment and Overcoming Writer's Block.

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